I don't even know how to start

A friend of mine whom I used to work with had a heart attack. 38 years old. That in itself is bad enough. But there's more. She was pregnant with one of her children at the same time I was pregnant with Evan. So she has a 6 year old son. She also has an older boy, maybe 9 or so. And the part that breaks my heart is that she has a new baby girl. 4 weeks old.

Yesterday I learned that her husband has been told there's no hope for her. She's on life support, and has no brain activity.

I can't even imagine. Her husband, her sons, and her daughter who will never know her mama. So damn sad.

Sigh

I've been feeling a bit out of sorts the past few days. I can't quite put my finger on it.

I had a nice conversation with my sister yesterday. She manages to cheer me up.

I have so much to do, and I don't know where to start. So I sit, waiting for something to jump out at me. Real constructive.

Lots going on this week though. I have a huge custom order to finish up for a yarn store, Bryan gets his cast off tomorrow (hopefully - that kid needs a bath, seriously), I've got some new oils on the way for some soap, and I'm plodding along on the fisherman's sweater.

I may take the boys over to the coast tomorrow. It's supposed to be hot here in the valley, and if the cast comes off, Bryan will LOVE being able to play in the sand. I've been wanting to try out some different photo stuff, and I think the coast will be a nice place to play.

Oh, and happy mother's day.

"Tell me, what is it that you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life? "
-Mary Oliver

I saw this quote the other day, and have been thinking a lot about how much of my life has gotten away from me. About how much time I've wasted, and how many things I want to do still. Things I've had in my grasp and let slip away, or things (or people - I won't name names so as not to sound as vindictive as I really am) I've wasted time on for no reason other than stupidity. I have a list. I started it years ago. I've scribbled things off out of disgust, anger, or hopelessness. I've added things in moments of motivation or optimism, or just plain wishful thinking.

I will cross one thing off that list by the end of the year. No excuses.

What is it you plan to do?

I thought since today is getting away from me I'd share one of my favorite sites the anticraft. After I finish the Fisherman's sweater I'm working on,this will be my next project. I'm also intrigued by this and am seriously considering it if only to keep the proselytisers away.

Then I'll work on something to

It's a beautiful day

So beautiful. I love days like this. And it's not just the weather. I actually woke up early, started the coffee, and went for a walk. Got home, had coffee and read the paper
(and despite more Wal-Mart crap, I remained in a good mood - but more on that another day), goofed off with the little boys for a bit, then loaded them into the truck.


We stopped and grabbed some sandwiches and headed to a park.
Had a nice lunch, took some pictures, watched the boys be silly, took some pictures, layed on my back in the grass and let the baby climb on me, and took some pictures. We caught some bugs, Aiden rolled around in the dirt, and it was just a great morning.



Then, this afternoon I found out that Modest Mouse is coming to the area in August. The older kids and I have been trying to see the bands we both like - fortunately, my kids are cool. Ha! Anyway, that's it for today. Off to do some studying.